Dress-This is one piece of clothing you want to be as comfortable as possible. It needs to go from stunningly elegant at the ceremony to out-of-contol on the dance floor.

Shoes- Rule of thumb is heals no higher the 1 1/2 inches and do not break the bank on this. No one sees them anyway!

Veil- Rule of thumb- the more elaborate the dress, the simplier the veil. The more elaborate the veil, the less ornate you will want the dress to be. They should never be in competition with each other for “Best Dressed”.

Garter belt with Stockings- Make sure the set you bought fits and is comfortable BEFORE the wedding day. Always put your hose through the wash at least once to reduce the risk of runs.

Lingerie- Belongs in the bedroom and not at the reception. Save something for just the groom

By Maureen Salamon

(LifeWire) – The whispers and pointing started as soon as Sara Price reached her assigned table at her friend’s wedding reception in Houston last January. Did she have raccoon eyes from crying during the ceremony? Mismatched shoes? A giant stain on her blouse?

Single women guests at weddings can feel uncomfortable if questioned about the state of their romantic life.

Apparently it was much worse: The Dallas woman had the audacity to come to the wedding … single. Price became the object of stares and sympathy as the only unattached person at her table.

“I tried to play it off — I wasn’t going to have a fit,” says the 23-year-old marketing coordinator. “They became very protective of me, but then it was almost worse because it felt like they were pitying me.”

With the most recent U.S. census data counting nearly 90 million unmarried Americans — a whopping 41 percent of all adults — Price is in good company. But woe to the singles who show up at the stream of summertime nuptials that constitute wedding season. From nosy questions about their marital status to tedious rituals like the bouquet toss, they get nearly as much attention as the bride and groom — except much of it is unwanted.

“The whole emphasis in this culture is that it’s a sin to be single. It’s crazy,” says Linnda Durre, Ph.D., an Orlando, Florida-based psychotherapist who counsels many singles. At weddings, unattached guests are “afraid people will think they’re a loser and that they can’t find a date,” Durre says. “It’s so foolish.”

Managing the merger mania

Valid or not, the stress is sometimes enough to unhinge the uncoupled. As Doree Lewak watched many of her friends head to the altar, she felt so much pressure to follow suit that she started unintentionally sabotaging her romantic relationships.

“I really drove one relationship into the ground because I panicked so much,” says Lewak, a 28-year-old freelance writer from New York City. “The guy almost had no choice but to run because I didn’t make the relationship about us — I made it about getting married and put it on an artificial timeline.”

Lewak learned so much from the process that she decided to pen the book “The Panic Years” — which evidently start after 25 — advising readers how to change their relationship strategy from petrified to proactive. “When you face so much pressure about getting married,” she says, “it really chips away at your psyche.”

Katie Judd is dealing with a double emotional wallop. The 26-year-old Bostonian recently broke up with her boyfriend and is helping plan her sister’s October wedding. It’s her younger sister, by the way — not a small point when the pressure to pair becomes palpable.

Judd, an account executive in digital media relations, is bracing herself for rude or withering comments at her sister’s celebration, where she will serve as maid of honor.

“I think it would be … awful to hear something like, ‘It will happen for you someday,’ because it will sound supportive, but it’s really not,” Judd says.

Even those who attend weddings with significant others are not immune to snarky, intrusive questions about their relationship status. Zac Rantz of Nixa, Missouri, has gone to quite a few ceremonies with his girlfriend of eight months only to find that other guests think “just dating” isn’t quite good enough.

“Everyone else can think we’re the perfect couple, and we can agree, but that doesn’t mean we’re ready to get married,” says Rantz, 28, a school district public information officer. “These questions can be awkward, because it’s between the two of us and not everyone else.”

Aside from avoiding annoying queries and dodging the dreaded bouquet toss — “I sneak out before that,” says Price — how can singles keep their dignity at weddings and have fun in the process? The most effective tactic may be to get out of their own heads, says Clay Cockrell, a Manhattan-based therapist who counsels many singles.

“All eyes are on the bride,” says Cockrell, 38. “While you may feel uncomfortable about being single, it’s really not about you. Realizing that you are not the focus of attention can reduce anxiety.”

As for the happy couple, Cockrell offers several tips to help them show more sensitivity to their single guests at the reception:

• Plan a fun table. Scattering your single friends throughout the room isolates them and can place them in awkward situations. Avoid this by putting them all together.

• Don’t ban the Chicken Dance. You may hate group dances such as the Macarena and the Electric Slide, but remember that singles like to dance, too, and making them watch countless slow dances between couples can be excruciating.

• Empathize. Try to remember what it was like to go to weddings when you were single. If you toss the bouquet, refrain from yelling out singles’ names or dragging them to the floor.

• Keep in mind that wedded bliss is great … for you: Baltimore wedding planner Linnyette Richardson-Hall, 47 and divorced, has had many a client try to fix her up at their nuptials during her 16 years in the business. “A lot of times when you’re happy like that, you want everyone on that train,” she says. “But I think I’ll stay at the station.”

It’s normal to have some feelings of guilt as you are planning your wedding-guilty because you’re not inviting your best friend from the 3rd grade or because you father is footing the bill, or because you aren’t including your girlfriends as much as they’d like. Managing other people’s expectations can be a job in and of itself, so it’s your turn to make guilt a useless emotion. In the process of being a diplomat, make sure you don’t bottle up your frustrations. Talk things through with you affianced to find the best way to handle each of the imposing situations. remember to reflect back on your own priorities for the wedding, then make compromises only if necessary to respect friends’ and families’ needs.

www.chroniclebooks.com

When you are in the final days of preparation before the big day, make sure to take some time to sit back and laugh. Rent a movie, read a laugh-out-loud book or watch some TV. Nothing is funnier than the old TV shows that were so popular from the 60/70/80″s on TV Land. (Watch a few “Leave it to Beaver”s or “The Andy Williams show”s to see what married life used to be like!)

Wedding related or not, search the Internet Movie Database at www.imdb.com to choose an old favorite or new thriller. Then make tons of popcorn and tune out the “World of Wedding” for a few hours. All the details that needto be finalized will still be there when you get back!

Has the thought of eloping gone through your head? Maybe you would rather put a down payment on a house or do some extensive traveling? (A wedding these days can run from $10,000 to $40,000) Eloping can be quick and painless- no walking down the isle. All you need is a blood test and marriage license.

Although there may be some who will disagree with your choice-usually family members, there are other things that you can do to make them happy. Have a party when you return from your honeymoon (the one you always wanted but would not be able to afford if you went with the “big wedding”.)

Your marriage is about making memories and sharing the union with those you love. Think outside of the box and make a list of what is most important to you and then share that list with your fiance. If the whole “white wedding” tops the list, then you may not be a candidate for an elopement. But if using a budget in a unique way that you will remember the rest of your marriage, start browsing the Internet and see how far you can go!

By Jocelyn Voo

(LifeWire) — Ahh, warm weather weddings: Nothing evokes a festive mood like triple-digit temperatures and man-eating mosquitoes.

The happy couple’s event planning may have you worrying about the elements, but there are lots of strategies for surviving warm weather weddings without feeling like you’re stuck in the Sahara.

What to wear

In hot and humid temperatures, walking the line between overheating and looking inappropriate is tricky. Your best bet is to err on the side of caution, says Sharon Naylor, author of 35 wedding books, including “The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette.” Watch advice on what to wear to wedding »

“Even at an outdoor wedding, guests need to adhere to the wedding formality dress rules,” the Morristown, New Jersey-based wedding expert says.

This means women should wear formal or semi-formal dresses, but can opt for lightweight fabrics, like linen or silk chiffon, and breezier cuts, like Grecian-style “goddess” silhouettes. At minimum, men should wear a button-down shirt and tie with suit pants, but can remove the jacket and tie for comfort.

Plus, it never hurts to check with the newlyweds-to-be. “Guests can absolutely call or e-mail the bride and groom to ask about the dress code,” Naylor says.

If you’re like Jonathan Wood, 27, who served as best man in a beachside summer wedding a few years ago, just take a cue from the couple. “I was in a full tux, but everyone in the wedding party — including the bride and groom — was barefoot, so I went sans socks and shoes and wore the legs of my trousers rolled,” says Wood, a photo editor at a Greensboro, North Carolina, book publishing house.

Outdoor obstacles

In theory, an outdoor wedding on the lake sounds like a romantic moment. In reality, the guests can be eaten alive by insects long before the cake is cut.

Luckily, there’s a more subtle way to take care of the problem than lugging along an economy-size citronella candle. Take preventative measures by covering exposed skin with a bug deterrent that contains eucalyptus oil or lemongrass oil, which are natural bug repellents.

Also, make sure to wear sunscreen, as having red, burned skin at the reception is sure to add to your discomfort.

Airborne allergens pose another potential pitfall. If your allergies are severe, check with your doctor. To deal with runny noses, take along a handkerchief or a pack of travel tissues.

Beating the heat

Tissues and handkerchiefs also can combat the inevitable perspiring that comes with high temperatures. As best man, Pete Warrington, 26, was fighting to stay on his two feet in the 95-degree heat of a Methodist church in Meredith, New Hampshire, that lacked air conditioning.

“It wasn’t so bad when we were sitting in the back before the service, but once we were standing up front, it was like a Swedish sauna — without the jump in the snow afterwards,” says Warrington, a software engineer from Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts. “We had no programs, no fans, and we couldn’t remove our jackets or ties.”

Warrington was wise enough to grab a paper towel from the bathroom before the ceremony, but when that no longer worked it was all he could do to not pass out. “Luckily, one of the bridesmaids went down before I did,” he laughs. “Kind of took the pressure off.”

After the ceremony, drink iced liquids, dab your face with cold water and change your dampened clothes, if you can. In all likelihood, the reception will be more casual and you can remove your jacket and tie. You might even get to enjoy some air-conditioning.

1. Talk it out-Discuss what marriage means to you and how you envision yourself growing old together

2.Something Old-Look into time honored traditions of your backgrounds.

3. Something Borrowed-Select from poems,songs and romantic movies. Look under “vows” using the search engines on the web or pick up a copy of “The Complete Book of Wedding Vows” by Diane Warner

4.Pen to Paper- write and then repeat out loud. Practice makes perfect

5. Short and Sweet- Keeping things simple has the most impact.

(Taken from Chronicle books @ www.chroniclebooks.com)

By Audrey Irvine
CNN

(CNN) — One of my girlfriends recently got engaged. Before we could even bask in her happiness, the conversation turned to the dreaded guest list.

Audrey Irvine was not only invited to her cousin’s wedding in 2004, she served as a bridesmaid.

Fun questions like, “So, honey, do we have to invite your great aunt, whom you haven’t seen since you were 10?”

So, who should get an invite?

Too often, women are pressured into inviting way too many people to their weddings out of a sense of obligation. Parents, prospective in-laws and grooms can turn a simple wedding into a grand affair.

And as soon as that engagement ring catches her eye, that occasional lunch acquaintance feels entitled to share in your happy nuptials.

Then you realize too late that the majority of people at your wedding don’t really know you or what has been going on in your life up until your big day.

This quiz is something I shared with friends years ago and feel inclined to share with other women.

Here are 10 questions couples can use to trim that guest list and weed out the people you really don’t want at your wedding.

1) Name the city I’m living in now (Good one to weed folks out, especially if you have moved a lot. Don’t use this if you’ve lived in the same place for 10 years).

2) Name at least two of my closest friends.

3) Name my current employer and my past employer (Again, if you’ve remained in the same job for 15 years, this does not apply).

4) Do I have any kids?

5) Do you know the name of my fiancé? Bonus question: Where and when did we meet?

6) Do you know where my parents are and whether they are still alive? (Imagine a friend at your wedding asking how long have your parents been married when they divorced years ago).

7) Name at least two of my hobbies.

How old am I? (My favorite is when family friends would query, ‘Are you 28 now?” Imagine their surprise when I proclaimed, ‘yeah, 10 years ago!’)

9) Where did I go to college? (Some people might not remember whether you attended college or even graduated.)

10) Name my last boyfriend before this engagement. Bonus question: if you can name the last two and why we broke up. If you get the bonus question right, that might automatically get you in.

Scoring helps determine whether you get invited.

If you score 50 percent or below, you definitely are not getting invited.

If you score barely over 50 percent, you are on the waiting list. If someone who scored better than you cannot attend, you might get an invitation. This barely acceptable person who might be invited may get you a great gift because of their guilt for scoring so low.

If you score over 60 percent, you get an invitation.

Now, you don’t have to be as extreme as I would love to be and send these questions with the save the date card. However, imagine if, over the course of your engagement, you pitch these questions to a few prospective guests just to see how they do.

In the end, what matters most is a beautiful wedding day and a sustained marriage.

Wouldn’t you like to celebrate it with loved ones who are invested in your past and present in addition to your future? Plus, it will help you avoid the embarrassing introduction of your new husband to someone who didn’t even realize until that moment that you didn’t marry your college sweetheart, whom you haven’t seen in 15 years!